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Microsoft Renames Windows 95

Topic: windows

MICROSOFT RENAMES WINDOWS 95

REDMOND, WASHINGTON

In an effort to dispel confusion surrounding Microsoft's upcoming new version of Windows, Microsoft announced today that it would rename the upgrade -- formerly known as Windows 95 -- to WinEver. "There seemed to be a great deal of anxiety about when the product would ship. We felt it was in the best interest of our users to free them from this anxiety," said a Microsoft spokesperson who requested to remain anonymous.

Industry analysts were quick to praise the decision. "WinEver will free Windows users from space and time constraints. It also gives Windows a new timeless quality", said a member of Ziff-Davis Publishing's Editorial Staff. "This is precisely why OS/2 is failing in the marketplace --they have failed to deliver a strategy for their product."

When asked when WinEver would be available, a Microsoft spokesperson said "Whenever." The spokesperson added "It really doesn't matter since WinEver is destined to be the most powerful and popular operating system ever." Market and industry analysts quickly agreed adding that "WinEver has already revolutionized the industry."


ALPHA v0.3