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Evolution

Topic: science

Evolution

In a surprise move today, the chimpanzee evolved yet further by the implementation of the newly developed BrainPlus(tm). Specifics of the new brain are as yet unknown, but insiders report of a quadrupling of the number of braincells, as well as significant performance increases. This strategically important evolutionary move is believed to be part of the world domination movement by the Chimp Coalition.

Chimp Chairmonkey B. Rockington: 'We're confident that the new brain, along with our joint venture with the Large Aquatic Mammals Association (LAMA), will substantially improve our survival-of-the-fittest ratio.'

The Chimp Coalition joint evolutionary venture with LAMA was announced three weeks ago after several months of intense speculation. The $1.3 billion deal involves the sharing of evolutionary developments which is supposed to provide the chimpanzees with the ability to stay under water for extended periods of time in exchange for their highly advanced Limb-Technology(tm).

Human representatives were not available for comments."


ALPHA v0.3