theparticle.com

ALPHA v0.3

Disclaimer
Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

Alpha
This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


BACK

First Mentions

Topic: religion

First Mentions

The first mention of PMS in the Bible. And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

The first mention of "race fixing" in the Bible. Jesus told Lazarus to "come Fourth."

The first mention of "Formula 1 Racing" in the Bible. "All of Israel heard the roar of his Triumph."

The first mention of "smoking" in the Bible. "Sarah lit up on a camel."

The first mention of "football" in the Bible. "Jesus going up for the cross."

The first mention of "laxatives" in the Bible. "Moses took two tablets and went up on the mount."

The first mention of "tennis" in the Bible. "Joseph served on Pharaoh's court."

The first mention of "motorcycles" in the Bible. "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

The first mention of "computer languages" in the Bible. "Go FORTH and multiply!"

The first mention of "programming style" in the Bible. "GO TO, and let us confuse their language."

The first mention of "sex" in the Bible. "Jesus was Layed in the tomb." or "Jesus going to Mount Olive."

The first mention of "constipation" in the Bible. "Baalam's ass would not move."

The first mention of "drugs" in the Bible. "Mary Magdalen getting stoned."

The first mention of "elasticity" in the Bible. "Jesus tying his ass to a tree and then walking 40 miles into the desert."

The first mention of "Baseball" in the Bible. "And Rachael took a pitcher to the well."

The first mention of "The lord's name" in the Bible. "Our father who art in heaven HALLOWED be thy name."

The first mention of "automobile" in the Bible. "The apostles were in one ACCORD"

The first mention of "baseball" in the Bible. "In the Big-Inning"

The first mention of automobiles in the Bible. "Moses came down the hill in his Triumph."


ALPHA v0.3