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The Priest Who Knew Golf

Topic: religion

The Priest Who Knew Golf

A man went to his priest for confession. He told the priest that he had taken the Lord's name in vain while playing golf the day before. The priest told him that he was a golfer himself, and though he did not condone taking the Lord's name in vain, that he could understand how it might possibly happen. He asked the man to explain to him the events leading up to this transgression.

"Well," said the man "I was on the 8th tee, a par 4, and was using my one wood. I hit a 300 yard drive, straight as an arrow, right down the center of the fairway. Then it landed on a sprinkler head and bounced into the woods."

"That could certainly be discouraging" said the priest, "after such a spectacular drive. Is that when you took the Lord's name in vain?"

"No," continued the man. "I went into the woods and found my ball, but there was a small tree about twenty yards from it directly in line with the pin."

"I see," said the priest. "Is that what caused you to take the Lord's name in vain?"

"That wasn't it," the man went on. "I used my nine iron, and was able to hit it over the tree, right at the pin. The only thing, it landed about ten yards short of the green right in the middle of a sand trap."

"I can see how that could be upsetting," the priest agreed. "After bouncing into the woods, then finding the ball and hitting it back into play only to have it land in a sand trap. Is that when you took the Lord's name in vain?"

"No, that wasn't it," the man continued. I got out the wedge, hit the ball out of the sand trap up onto the green and it rolled straight towards the cup, only it stopped about six inches short."

"Oh, my!" exclaimed the priest. "After being in the woods and a sand trap on a par four, and still having it stop short of the cup while shooting for a birdie. That must have been most discouraging. That must have been what happened that caused you to use the Lord's name in vain."

"No, that wasn't it, either." said the man.

"Jesus Christ! You mean to tell me you missed a six inch putt?"


ALPHA v0.3