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God'S Reelection Campaign

Topic: religion

GOD'S REELECTION CAMPAIGN

"My 12 billion-year term is almost up--and I need *your support* for 12 billion more!!"

GOD for SUPREME DEITY

"Hey, His *name* is **God**!"

The campaign was not going well. God's previous inaccessibility made his attempts at positive publicity seem disingenuous.

"...And I'm sure this new shopping mall will bring prosperity to the whole tri-county area..."

"Hey, God! I prayed for a job eight months ago, and I'm still out of work!"

Emboldened by the possibility of an outster, people began expressing their dissatisfaction.

"Famine, disease, misery, disasters... I say throw the Bum out." - Dirk Valle, Construction Worker

God's opponent, Norm Drucker, a successful entrepreneur, ran on a business approach.

"I run a pretty darn good chain of car dealerships. I think I can run the Universe *even better*!"

Drucker's litany of proposals were real crowd pleasers.

NORM DRUCKER for SUPREME DEITY

Just a few more NEW IDEAS from Norm Drucker:

#134 a new beverage-holding appendage on all humans

#135 waffle trees

#136 no gravity one hour each day

#137 talking llamas

God tried to counter by revoking some of his less popular tenets, but the polls wouldn't budge.

"Okay. You can use my name in vain. And I'm looking into the adultery thing..."

In a final debate, God's divine wisdom was no match for Drucker's sensational promises.

"He doesn't know anything about ruling the Cosmos! Evil is *necessary* in order for Good to *exist*!"

"Evil! Gone! First 100 days!"

But in the end, God showed why an omnipotent incumbent is so tough to beat.

New York Bugle

GOD WINS IN "MIRACULOUS" UPSET

Drucker Suddenly Afflicted With Boils


ALPHA v0.3