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You Know You'Re In Arizona When

Topic: regional

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN ARIZONA WHEN:

- You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

- You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.

- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

- You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.

- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.

- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

- You can make sun tea instantly.

- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

- You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

- You can pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and Tlaquepaque".

- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.

- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

- Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.

- Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.

- Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

- You can understand the reason for a town named "Why."


ALPHA v0.3