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The Oj Quiz

Topic: ojsimpson

THE OJ QUIZ

Part I (multiple choice)

1. Do you believe that one racist cop could have planted all the DNA evidence incriminating OJ?

(a) Certainly, since it's obvious Detective Fuhrman had been planning this for months and, in fact, Detective Fuhrman will be proved to be the killer of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.

(b) Certainly not, since anyone can see that OJ suffers from paranoid delusions and is badly in need of some Lithium which he can't afford since his lawyers are taking every penny he has.

(c) I personally planted all the DNA evidence and haven't even been called as a witness. Mwahaha!

2. Do you think OJ killed his wife and her friend?

(a) Of course! The only thing missing is a reliable witness who hasn't always dreamed of being a key witness in a celebrity murder case.

(b) No way! The entire LAPD is collaborating on a huge cover-up of the "real" evidence in an effort to get OJ convicted.

(c) I believe the lawyers committed the murders in an effort to obtain all of OJ's money.

3. Do you think OJ will be convicted of the murders?

(a) Yes, and Judge Ito will make sure he gets a good talking-to so he won't ever do something like this again.

(b) No, because he's innocent, man. All you have to do is look at his face to realize that a brother just wouldn't do this kind of sh*t.

(c) It will be a hung jury - literally. All the jury members, frustrated by the seemingly endless legal bafflegab, will be found hanging from the ceiling rafters of their sequestered rooms.

4. What do you think will happen to OJ if he is convicted?

(a) He'll write another book and make millions of dollars from gullible people who will buy it.

(b) He'll become the wife of a guy named Spike.

(c) His lawyers will appeal and another jury will be selected, only this time the trial won't end so quickly.

5. What do you think will happen if OJ is freed?

(a) He'll write another book and make millions of dollars from gullible people who will buy it.

(b) He'll be declared a hero, there will be a parade in his honor, and every second Saturday of April will be officially declared OJ Day during which there will be in-store specials on knives and Ford Broncos.

(c) The prosecution will appeal, there will be a new trial that will cost taxpayers double what this one did, and another group of reluctant jurors will have to be found by placing ads in overseas newspapers.

6. What reason did OJ privately give his lawyers for having committed the double murder?

(a) Tired of groupies asking for his autograph and just cracked when Nicole shoved divorce papers in his face and said, "Sign this."

(b) He thought she and Goldman were prowlers.

(c) His celebrity hunting license specifically gave him permission to kill any two people he felt like each year.

7. Why does OJ think he should get away with it?

(a) Because he didn't do something disgusting like Pee Wee Herman or Hugh Grant.

(b) Because many people have forgotten that he's the one who's supposed to be on trial - not Detective Fuhrman.

(c) Because his dream team of lawyers has been successful in getting much of the incriminating evidence suppressed.

8. How does OJ claim the murders must have happened?

(a) Nicole and Ronald Goldman stabbed each other to death.

(b) Aliens doing medical experiments that went horribly wrong beamed the bodies to the crime scene.

(c) Elvis, his mind muddled by years of drug abuse, accidentally murdered the victims because he thought they were hallucinations.

9. How does OJ explain the victims' blood found in his Bronco and his home?

(a) Goldman must have cut himself shaving while he was prowling around the house.

(b) During her last blood transfusion, the doctors gave Nicole too much blood and some of it leaked out while she was visiting OJ.

(c) It was all planted by Detective Fuhrman who is secretly in love with OJ and didn't take OJ's rejection well.

Part II (true or false)

1. Johnnie Cochrane and Robert Shapiro will continue to represent OJ Simpson after he runs out of money. True ( ) False ( )

2. It is possible that the dog, Kato, committed the murders. True ( ) False ( )

3. It is possible that the houseguest, Kato, committed the murders. True ( ) False ( )

4. Detective Fuhrman planted the evidence to incriminate OJ because he personally committed the murders. True ( ) False ( )

Scoring:

If you answered all of the questions, you have obviously been watching too much of the OJ trial on TV. You need to get a life.


ALPHA v0.3