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Ford Customer Service Division Ligature Distribution Center

Topic: ojsimpson

Ford Customer Service Division, Ligature Distribution Center, Detroit, Michigan 48227

As of Friday, June 24, 1994, The Ford Bronco has officially been selected the vehicle of choice for all felons in the United States.

The conclusive California road test, as seen on National TV, proved without a doubt the 1994 Bronco can successfully hold off 15 or more police cars, 3 helicopters and the entire population of the united states for more than an hour and a half, while never exceeding 45 miles per hour. The vehicle even works well, parked in the driveway of your residence.

If you are a felon, then we have a special deal for you on a brand new 1994 Ford Bronco. Just go to your local Ford dealer and ask for the OJ package. The specially equipped Bronco comes with a .30 caliber pistol, twenty five rounds of ammunition, blood resistant upholstery, cellular phone with speed dialing for 911 calls, a former famous football player blow up doll and a high powered qualified lawyer who will greet you when you arrive home.

Picture yourself leaning back comfortably in your seat, listening to the gentle swirl of helicopter blades and police cars purring. And, if you act now, we will throw in the OJ Magic Disappearing Ginsu knife at No Extra Charge!! Be the first in your cell to own the New 1994 OJ Bronco. See your Ford Dealer Now! Limited offer, price may vary, plus dealer prep and destination charges.


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