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Us Air Force Oath Of Enlistment

Topic: military

US Air Force "Oath of Enlistment"

I, Zoomie, swear to sign away 4 years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me.

I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services.

I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of my *snicker* "Basic Training", I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chairborne Ranger. I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day.

I consent to never getting promoted (EVER) and understand that all those whom I made fun of yesterday will probably outrank me tomorrow. So help me God.

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ALPHA v0.3