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The Letter From Santa

Topic: holidays

The Letter From Santa

I've been watching you very closely this year to see if you've been good and since you have, I'll be telling my elves to make you some special goodies for me to leave under your tree Christmas Day.

I was going to bring you all the gifts from the "12 Days of Christmas", but we've had a little trouble up here this year. The 12 Fiddlers Fiddling have all contacted VD from the 10 Ladies Dancing. The 11 Lords of Leaping have knocked up the 8 Maids A Milking and the 9 Pipers Piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 Swans A Swimming. The 6 Geese A Laying, 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, 2 Turtle Doves and The Partridge In The Pear Tree all have me up to my ass in bird shit.

On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through Menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat and the Elves have run off to join the Gay Liberation Movement and the Polocks have scheduled Christmas in Poland for February 5th.

Merry Christmas Anyway,

Santa Claus


ALPHA v0.3