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Vampire Eradication

Topic: g-rated

Vampire Eradication

The vampire myth is widespread, and details vary from place to place. Here's a handy list, courtesy of Cecil Adams' _The Straight Dope_:

VAMPIRE DISPOSAL METHODS, BY COUNTRY OF ORIGIN

SPECIES => COUNTRY => APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL

Sampiro => Albania => Stake through heart Nachtzehrer => Bavaria => Place coin in mouth, decapitate with ax Ogoljen => Bohemia => Bury at crossroads Krvoijac => Bulgaria => Chain to grave with wild roses Kathakano => Crete => Boil head in vinegar Brukulaco => Greece => Cut off and burn head Vampir => Hungary => Stake through heart, nail through temple Dearg-dul => Ireland Pile stones on grave Vryolakas => Macedonia Pour boiling oil on, drive nail through navel Upier => Poland => Bury face downwards Gierach => Prussia => Put poppy seeds in grave Strigoiul => Rumania => Remove heart, cut in two; garlic in mouth, nail in head Vlkoslak => Serbia => Cut off toes, drive nail through neck Neuntoter => Saxony => Lemon in mouth Vampiro => Spain => No known remedy

Keep a copy of this in your wallet (I do). When confronted with a suspected vampire, ask to see his passport (if it shows a birthdate in the eighteenth century, so much the better). Cross reference the place of birth with the chart. Wait until the daylight, when the vampire is dormant, and take him out with the suggested method.

BEFORE STARTING THIS OR ANY OTHER VAMPIRE ERADICATION PROGRAM, CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR.


ALPHA v0.3