theparticle.com

ALPHA v0.3

Disclaimer
Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

Alpha
This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


BACK

Why The Mafia Is A Good Organization To Work For

Topic: g-rated

WHY THE MAFIA IS A GOOD ORGANIZATION TO WORK FOR:

1. There aren't many multi-national organizations with openings in extortion, harassment, drug smuggling, counterfeiting, prostitution or murder

2. Most job forms ask you how many years of school you attended, not how many hammer fights you attended

3. In most businesses you have to wait until you boss retires before promotion, in the Mafia all you have to do is wait until someone cuts his throat in a barber's chair

4. Most companies' expansion plans are boring and involve steady growth through sound financial management, not "whacking those muthafu**ers on the East Side"

5. Their Headquarters are somewhere fun like Las Vegas rather than Slough Industrial Estate or Telford Business District

6. You'll never be demoted, just shot in the back of the head

7. Hitting people in the balls with a baseball bat is frowned upon in the world of quantity surveying, whereas in the Mafia you get paid overtime for it

8. You don't underbid the competition, you cut them up

9. Rather than suffering from whimpy occupational hazards such as Repetitive Strain Injury, you'll have macho complaints like exit wounds

10. It's a more honorable occupation than being a lawyer


ALPHA v0.3