theparticle.com

ALPHA v0.3

Disclaimer
Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

Alpha
This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


BACK

Incredible But True Stories

Topic: g-rated

Incredible, But True Stories

Last winter a cow nearby caught such a cold she gave nothing but ice cream.

There is a man in this town who is so tall he has to stand on a ladder to shave himself. In fact, he has to get on this knees just to put his hands in his pockets. When he was born he was so big it was impossible to name all of him at once. He has a son who is growing so fast his shadow can't keep up with him. Nor can his clothes. One day his head grew three inches through the top of his hat.

There is a man nearby whose feet are so large that when it rains he lies down and uses them as umbrellas. And when the sun is too hot, he does the same thing to provide some shade.

Not too far from here there is a farmer who is so strong that when his horse fell in a well, he dug up the whole thing and gently poured him out. He has a wife who is so clean that one day she scrubbed the kitchen floor too hard and went right through into the basement. It is their farm that is the problem. It is so muddy they have to jack up the cows to milk them.

There is also a family in this town that is so lazy it takes two of them to sneeze. One throws his head back. And another goes AH-CHOO! It also takes two of them to chop wood. One swings the ax. And another grunts.

There is a man not too far away who is so dirty that when he finally took a bath, he found some underwear he thought he had lost two years before.

There is also this woman who is so smart it hurts to think about it. Each night she fries herself a giant buckwheat cake, then rushes it sizzling hot to her bed where she uses it as a blanket. Then each morning on arising she eats it for breakfast.


ALPHA v0.3