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Bag Limits For Maryland Males

Topic: g-rated

Bag Limits for Maryland Males

The following guidance is provided for the predatory female in the hopes of preventing unfortunate hunting accidents.

Season:

None. Maryland Males may be hunted year-round, although best results are typically achieved in the Spring as they emerge from the winter sports-watching hibernation period. Fall hunts are more difficult unless the huntress is prepared to bait the quarry with copious amounts of beer, snack food, and promises of sex over the winter sports season.

Rules of the Hunt:

1. Weapons (guns, knives, clubs) are prohibited except for self- defense against enraged victims. Males who rise in response to such threats are not to be trusted.

2. Bait-and-Switch tactics are illegal. The huntress may not act as the agent for another, less aggressive female. You hunt it, you live with it is the basic rule of engagement.

3. Any lure may be used, although certain artificial enhancements (silicone, cotton padding) are dangerous as they will be discovered when the hunt is about to be consummated. See Weapons.

4. Any male above the age of sixteen is fair game if not already claimed by another huntress. Fighting over claimed prey is considered unsports-person-like, even though such fights may excite the prey. Hunting of under-age game is similarly prohibited, even though it might excite the huntress. Hunting overage males is counterproductive unless only material gains are desired.

5. Trapping using the Honey pots technique is illegal, as this may enrage the game and/or lead to years of frustration and mutual disappointment.

6. Intended Maryland prey must be unrelated to the huntress unless the hunt will be consummated in West Virginia.

7. Multiple males may be hunted at any given time. However, if the huntress reaches climax with more than one at a time, while exciting for the huntress, such action may cause fighting among the prey and cause the huntress to acquire a damaged reputation which will surely affect future hunts.

8. There are no monetary or time constraints on the hunt or huntress.

9. Males are territorial; plan accordingly. If the huntress is caught stalking any particular male, that male may become possessive for no apparent reason.

10. Males may, for no apparent reason, ignore the huntress advances and refuse to be hunted. This can be damaging to the huntress ego.

11. A previously captured and released male may prove to be simultaneously shy and wily, and lead the huntress into a trap of his own devising, which may not be obvious until after the huntress has been captured. Beware.

12. The male, while claiming to be a tough and rational creature, can be easily wounded by a careless huntress; these may prove to be poor prey for future hunts.


ALPHA v0.3