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ALPHA v0.3

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To All Department Heads From Personnel Department Subj New

Topic: corporate

TO: All Department Heads FROM: Personnel Department SUBJ: New Employee Evaluation Forms

NAME:__________________________________ DATE:_______________________ JOB TITLE:_____________________________ DATE HIRED:_________________ DEPARTMENT:____________________________ SUPERVISOR:_________________

______________________________________________________________________

ACCURACY __DOES SHITTY WORK AND CONSTANTLY FUCKS UP __DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF OUTPUT IS RIGHT OR WRONG __PRETTY GOOD, ONLY AN OCCASIONAL SCREW-UP __DOES GOOD WORK IF NOT PRE-OCCUPIED WITH BROADS/STUDS ______________________________________________________________________

RATE OF __DOESN'T DO A FUCKING THING ALL DAY LONG WORK __WORKS ONLY IF KICKED IN THE ASS VERY OFTEN __DOES A LOT OF WORK AT REVIEW TIME __GOES LIKE A SON-OF-A-BITCH IF HE THINKS HE'LL GET A RAISE __FASTEST MOTHER-FUCKER IN THE WEST _______________________________________________________________________

DEPENDABILITY __COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT MOTHER-HUMPING JERK __NEEDS FREQUENT THREATS AND ASS CHEWINGS __CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IF SEX URGE IS SATISFIED __USUALLY DEPENDABLE AT SALARY REVIEW TIME __REALLY A RELIABLE COCK-SUCKER _______________________________________________________________________

KNOWLEDGE __STUPID BASTARD, DOESN'T KNOW HIS ASS FROM FIRST BASE __KNOWS JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS __ADEQUATE BRAIN POWER, BUT DOESN'T USE IT __KNOWS MOST PHASES OF THE JOB __SON-OF-A-BITCH REALLY KNOWS HIS SHIT _______________________________________________________________________

COOPERATION __PISS POOR ATTITUDE, THINKS HE IS BEING SHIT ON __OFTEN PISSES OFF CO-WORKERS __COOPERATIVE ONLY IF ASS IS KISSED FREQUENTLY __BROWN NOSER FIRST CLASS __COOPERATIVE IF PAID ENOUGH _______________________________________________________________________

ORDERLINESS __SLOPPY, DIRTY, FILTHY BASTARD-WORSE THAN OSCAR __PISSES IN ASH TRAYS, SHITS IN THE CORNER __SOMETIMES EMPTIES ASH TRAYS AND HITS THE WASTEBASKET __NEAT AND ORDERLY __NEATER THAN FELIX _______________________________________________________________________

HANDLING __CONSTANTLY PISSES OFF THE TROOPS AND __FREQUENTLY GETS THE FINGER DEVELOPING__OCCASIONALLY GETS TOLD TO GET FUCKED PEOPLE __ONLY THE JANITORS OBEY HIM __CARRIES HATCHET AND GETS EXCELLENT RESULTS

___________________________ _______________________________ EMPLOYEE'S SIGNATURE SUPERVISOR'S SIGNATURE


ALPHA v0.3