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ALPHA v0.3

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Dictionary Of Evaluation Comments

Topic: corporate

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments ---------------------------------

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations he/she keeps cranking out.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.

ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.

AVERAGE: Not too bright.

APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.

A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.

CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.

CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.

COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.

CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass.

DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.

DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.

EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.

GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.

IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.

INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.

METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.

MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.

NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.

QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.

STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.

TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.

SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.

SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.

REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.

HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.

ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.

HAPPY: Paid too much.

UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.

WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.

WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.

SHOULD GO FAR: Please.

USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.

USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything.

VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.


ALPHA v0.3