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The Vegetable Computer ----------------------

Topic: computer

The Vegetable Computer ----------------------

The Vegetable Computer was invented in 1842 by Charles Cabbage, regarded by many as the father of the field. Cabbage called his computer the Agricultural Engine. Modern versions consist of rose and rose of integrated carrots connected to a flower supply by a maize of wires. Input is from pea switches, yard weeder and tell-he's-ripe. A hayseed vine printer may be used to generate hard coffee, while a vegetable display unit supports interactive composting. Main memory consists of interleaved beet-addressable magnetic corn. Secondary store consists of plough discs and grape drives. All peripherals are daisy chained.

A later version of the Agricultural Engine was known as the AR-16 (after Agricultural Revolution). It was based on the sack discipline, first perfected by the Barrow Combine, and sprouted a high-swede paper tape reaper for the first lime.

Early computers consumed large amounts of power. Many required their own electric spud-station to seed them and had to overcome the problem of providing adequate lentilation. Such problems caused many a furrowed brow in the pasture and we cannot expect to avoid harrowing days ahead. However, the many fertile minds that constitute the rate-of-the-cart computer technology cannot fail to produce the harvest of the future, particulary with the bloom of very large scale irrigation. Artificial pollination techniques grafted on to parallel earthworks will soon be producing computers proudly proclaiming 'I think, therefore I yam'. All chokoes aside, we can look beyond the melon-cauli thymes through the winnow of the ears till the salad days ahead. Lettuce advance to the world of two marrows. To those reactionaries who would turn back the docks we say, 'hoe! hoe! hoe!'.

Herb and Russel Sprout, Rice Presidents, Assocn. for Cultivating Machinery


ALPHA v0.3