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Intel To Enter Gas Market

Topic: computer


SILICON VALLEY, CA - Intel announced today a new venture in entering the gasoline marketplace. They sighted concerns over rising gas prices as reasoning behind the effort. Intel believes their competitive presence in the market place can bring gas prices down.

They plan to introduce three new gasolines: a regular grade, plus grade and premium grade. The regular grade will provide a 75 octane rating, the plus grade 100 octane, and premium grade 133 octane. Plans are to soon phase out the 75 octane grade and move the 100 and 133 grades down a notch. Intel will then introduce the most efficient grade in the marketplace to date, the 166 octane premium pro gasoline. By the end of the year, the 100 octane grade will be unavailable, but a 200 octane grade will hit the market.

As the year goes on, prices will drop month by month, as each octane rating will shift one button to the left on the pumps. An Intel spokesperson noted, "what is thought of as efficient now, will be terribly inadequate with in a few months."

The chain of gas stations will be called Pentium, but will go by the nickname P5. No explanation of what the 5 stands for was available. By year end they may change the nickname to P6.

Also, Intel's and Western Digital's Research and Development departments are working together on a new gas tank that will hold more and more of the Intel gas, in the same amount of space. Every few months, individuals will need to have new gas tanks installed so they can drive farther and farther. Others will prefer to just clutter up their gas tank with unneeded gas--a trend that is predicted to catch on.

In other news, a Microsoft company insider, speaking anonymously, reported that Microsoft is working on a deal with IBM to produce an automobile. The car, to be manufactured by IBM, will only be able to be driven on roads owned by Microsoft and will utilize the Intel gas. The insider went on to say that Microsoft has been secretly buying up roads all over the country--roads on which they will not allow other cars to drive once the IBM car hits the market.

(API) report - May 18, 1996

ALPHA v0.3