ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


Are You Still A Computer Geek?

Topic: computer

Are you STILL a computer geek?

Ok, so you lucked out last time - you were about as socially adjusted as an onion and jelly sandwich, BUT YOU MIGHT HAVE CHANGED! You may not be a computer geek any more! It's possible!!! (Not probable, but possible) Test yourself now!

1. It's a stag party for one of your friends. You and the rest of your friends all put money in for: a. A set of driving mirrors b. A stripper c. A stripper with a set of driving mirrors d. A VGA screen so he can check out

2. You want to improve your social life. You a. Ask people to go out with you. b. Join a club to meet new people c. Drink yourself unconscious and forget about it. d. What's a social life?

3. You ideal partner would have: a. Looks b. Intelligence c. Money d. A 3 Gig Hard Drive, Twin floppies + SVGA screen, and 64 Meg Memory

4. You have the most horrific nightmare of your life. It involves: a. You driving off a cliff b. You showing up somewhere with no clothes on c. A hungry sensation, your private parts and some tomato sauce. d. A tax on pocket protectors and thick glasses

5. You're on blind date. The question you would ask is: a. "Name the weirdest place you ever kissed someone" b. "Name the weirdest place you ever made love" c. "Name the weirdest place you ever played soggy biscuit" d. "Name the weirdest place you ever booted MSDOS 4"

6. Your role model is: a. Rudolf Steiner b. Mother Theresa c. Charlie Manson d. R2D2

7. Your favorite fashion accessory is: a. Winklepickers b. Collar Studs c. An axe d. What's fashion?

8. If you had your life to live again, would you: a. Make no changes b. Make a few changes c. Make a lot of changes d. Upgrade to SVGA

9. Your favorite pickup line is: a. "I've just won the lottery" b. "Has anyone seen the keys to my Porsche?" c. "$hit, I'm pissed" d. "I'm superuser at work.."

10.During sexual climax, you think of: a. Your partner b. Your partner's body c. Yourself d. The 487 co-processor at 52 Meg

Scoring You don't really need the score card do you? Mostly A's or B's means you're the normal run-of-the-mill, 90212 (the house next door) walk alike, talk alike that gives us real jerks a bad name; C's mean you're a.. Well, frankly, I don't know what you are, but it's probably treatable with large amounts of voltage, and D's of course means that you've got a fantastic career stretched out in front of you as far as your nose can see. Happy camping.

ALPHA v0.3