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The Russian And American Guards

Topic: adult

The Russian and American Guards

Once upon a time there were two guards somewhere out in the vast reaches of Siberia. There was a Russian guard and an American guard. Their only duties were to patrol a long stretch of fence that lay between the two countries. Now the American guard soon became bored with his job, nothing to do all day but walk the fence and make sure the Russian didn't try to steal it, at least that's all he could figure out he was good for. So one day he decided to make friends with the Russian guard and maybe pass the time faster by having someone to talk to. He decided to put his plan in action the very next time they passed each other.

When that happened he yelled to the Russian, "Hey you." The Russian soldier grabbed his rifle off his shoulder and just growled, not knowing what was coming. The American soldier said, "Hey, are you an observer? You know, observer?" And he held his hands in front of his eyes as if he was looking through binoculars. "Are you an observer?", he asked again. But the Russian soldier just growled, put his rifle back on his soldier, and marched off.

The American soldier thought to himself, "Well, maybe he's not an observer, I'll try again next time we pass." When that happened he yelled to the Russian, "Hey you." And the Russian grabbed his rifle off his shoulder and growled. The American soldier said, "Are you a paratrooper?" And he held one hand up high with the fingers out and brought it slowly down, just like a parachute landing. Then he asked again, "You a paratrooper? You know what I mean, paratrooper?" But again the Russian soldier just growled some more and marched off.

The American soldier said, "Well, he's not even trying to help with this, but I'll give him one more chance." When they next met the American soldier yelled out, "Hey you." The Russian soldier grabbed his rifle and growled. The American soldier said, "I'll bet you're just like me and in the infantry." And he help one palm out flat and used two fingers of his other hand to show a little man marching across a field. But the Russian soldier just growled and marched off.

With that the American soldier said, "Well to hell him, I'll fix him next time we meet." And when the did they American soldier yelled, "Hey you." The Russian soldier grabbed his rifle and growled. The American soldier held his index finger extended and said, "Fuck You!" The Russian soldier stared at him with a shocked expression, then he threw down his rifle, turned around and ran as fast as he could and disappeared in the distance. The American soldier held out his arms and said, "What? was it something I said."

Back at his command post the Russian soldier is standing at attention in front of his superior. The General said, "So, you deserted your post, yes?" And the Russian soldier said, "Yes Sir!" The General says, "You abandoned your weapon too, yes?" And the Russian soldier said, "Yes Sir!" The General asks, "Why, what made you do these things?" And the Russian soldier said, "The American soldier on the other side of the fence. That son-of-a-bitch is crazy." The General asks him, "What did he do, sis he shoot at you?" And the Russian soldier replied, "No sir, it's not what he did it's what he said." The general has to know, "What did he say?"

The Russian soldier said, "Well, sir, every time we passed each other on patrol he would stop and say something. The first time he held his hands to his eyes and said 'I see you'. The next time he made a signal of the sun going down and he said 'Sun's going down, gonna be dark soon.' The next time we passed he said, 'I'm going to sneak across the fence tonight'. The next time we passed he .................


ALPHA v0.3